I’ve spent most of the year in San Francisco performing in Cabaret, the musical, with the amazing TheTribe Productions. While I feel anxious to get back into the industry game, it was REALLY nice actually working as an actress for most of the month!
It’s a funny feeling actually getting acting work that lasts longer than a few days. I adore the theater for this reason, it makes you feel complete as a thespian: fully immersing yourself in a world that is not your own. For the past four months I have been living in early 1930s Berlin, on stage in a cabaret, as a “Kit Kat” girl. It was one of my better acting experiences since moving to LA and hopping on the “business of acting” bandwagon, a swift departure from my New York days as a working and student actress. It was lovely escaping from the business and actually enjoying my craft for a change. And in a city that totally RIVALS my beloved New York!
January is a strange month. While the rest of the city is hitting the pavement for pilot season, I am, most often, in a play, shooting an independent film, or producing and directing something myself. I know I’m an unusual “type” that agents have a strange time pinpointing, but I’ve decided to spend less time on my marketing and more time on actually ACTING. It’s important to remember why pursued acting in the first place. I actually caught myself looking at potential law degree programs today, as I am sick of living poorly just for the chance of getting a decent audition. I want to make money because I want to live well. I know my mother would rejoice if I merely entertained the thought of becoming a lawyer.
What’s interesting is that no matter what job I take, I can surely climb to the top and be the best at it. I have no doubt. Of course, I chose a career in which you have very little say in how far you climb. I’ve strived for so long, and it’s time to live well. I was made for gigantic projects. I was born to be a producer, director, writer, singer, and actress. I am super happy performing music as a solo artist, doing acoustic sessions and writing sad songs for small audiences. I am happy performing musical theater in a completely packed 99-seat house. It certainly felt like home working at the tiny Bindlestiff Studio for those precious weeks. I live for back-breaking dance rehearsals and the cosmetic aroma of a theater’s dressing room. Take me there…
So what is NEXT? Queen Gorya is next. Promoting her at WonderCon, Monsterpalooza, San Diego Comic Con, Days of the Dead, and New York Comic Con is next. I must finish the outrageous TV pilot that we started, with our glorious Kickstarter campaign funds that took EVERY cell in my system to obtain! Though I am constantly asking myself this question: What was I born to do for this world? Who am I in service of? After my experience on set last year for Queen Gorya as executive producer, star, and director, I never felt more at home. It was a calm set, one of the most sweet experiences I’ve had on a film set, in fact. I owe it to myself to maintain a silky smooth adventure on my film sets. I know that I am capable of a lot, and I know that’s why my mother’s heart breaks every time she talks to me and I am in dismay because there are no auditions lined up. My journey is the LONG and difficult one.
DO IT YOURSELF: I have been inspired to create a burlesque show (under a stage name that I have yet to announce!). I also plan on performing a solo acoustic set at the House of Blues this spring. I am spending a lot of time finishing up a sci-fi feature film script and a brand new adventure TV pilot that I will be pitching. I’m formulating a business plan for my production company, Final Fangirl Productions, that involves two feature films (sci-fi and thriller) and two TV series in development.
Sometimes I feel as though I don’t have enough years in my life to complete the work I have set out for myself. I aim to create my ideal future as an actress: picking up script after script of projects people want me to perform in. Another reason why I would love to have an agent…to help me break down those doors. If I could act and sing all of the time, I would… I would do it till my soul bled.
Satu (your frustrated, hard-working, jane-of-all-trades that only wants to be an actress/pop star)